For so long, I've felt torn.

A part of me urges me to move on—to release myself and be free of you. That you don't care much about me, perhaps never really did. Maybe at some point, there was something, but not anymore. That I should let go of this unhealthy obsession, accept that I don't matter to you, and that, as time passes, I'll matter even less. I jumped in headfirst, believing we'd sail off into the sunset together. I was mistaken. I was just one among many, another fool who thought they had a chance with you. A total joke.

Yet, another part of me doesn't agree. It believes that at some point, there was something real—something still there, waiting for a spark to reignite it. It whispers that I gave up too soon, that I should have tried harder. I missed the signs you showed, but if I tried again, it would work out. I want to reach out, damn my pride. Love makes fools of us all, after all. Maybe a part of you still longs for what could have been. That we can still, somehow, make it work. Never will I find someone like you. I should pick up the damn phone and call you...

You were never really interested in the first place. I was delusional, reading too much into everything. You were probably just being nice, a courtesy. That would explain why I always felt like I had to reach out first, that the moment I stopped, it would all end. And, indeed, when I did stop, it did end. I hoped—hoped that after a few nights, you would realize that I hadn't reached out for a while. That maybe, just maybe, a part of you would feel some concern, maybe even miss me. And that would be enough for a simple, "Hey, how is you..."

Eventually, a few months later, I understood my place in your life.

It hurt.

Of course, this is only one half of the story. I would love to hear your side if you're ever willing to share it.

Maybe I was wrong...?

When I sit down and think about it, I realize that I could have done so much better. I should have tried harder, spent more time with you, explored who you really are, seen you for who you are instead of who I wanted you to be. I dumped all my feelings on you, expecting you to do the same. That was unfair. I failed to consider what you felt and what you wanted. I should have communicated better. Maybe if I had, things would have turned out differently.

For what it's worth, I am sorry. For any discomfort I ever made you feel. For putting you on the spot. For expecting you to be someone you're not. My heartfelt apologies.

Brief as it was, I treasured the time we spent together. I especially appreciated your canny sense of humor. I'm sure most people do.

I hope your dreams come true, your wishes are fulfilled, and your life is filled with love, warmth, and grace. I hope you find what's right for you.

I never got you flowers or wrote your name in the sand. Maybe one day I will. Or someone else will. You deserve all the flowers, sunshine, and joy.

Warm regards,
Me.